i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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