At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize