we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
