Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
