Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
