How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
