Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
