i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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