i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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