the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
