why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
