We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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