i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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