Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
