new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
