took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
