Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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