It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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