Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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