i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
