So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
