Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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