Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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