your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
