I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
