did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Randomize
