this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Come share oat with me in your robe
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
