maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He better not be in your backpack
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
