where does the pee come out of this thing
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
