He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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