my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
