Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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