is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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