why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
