So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
