Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize