You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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