The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Randomize
