he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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