what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
