last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
