actually, I'm a sock model
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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