my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize