I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
