The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
