..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
