apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
