You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
