She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
