apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Randomize
