I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
