see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
