It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
