Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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