dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
