But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize