Screwed.edu
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
