That's intense
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
