I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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