Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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