I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
