bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
