let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
There was a lot of him and a little penis
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize