Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize