There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Come see our sink grown plant.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize