You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
