You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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