ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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