I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
