I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize
