Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
